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May is a tough month for families. The wind-down of school is a frenzy of activities, events, and big end-of-year school projects. If that isn’t bad enough on it’s own, let’s add insomnia and a never-ending migraine. Fun times! 😬
Last week I had a 7-day long migraine. At times it was brain-crushing and I couldn’t get out of bed. But, somehow I still showed up for my kids, made dinner, sang in a choir, and did what I had to do. But … even though I “showed up” – it wasn’t always pretty. Some nights I counted sandwiches as dinner and no make-up with a messy bun was my uniform. I can smile when I’m in pain, so it wouldn’t be obvious to anyone that something was wrong if they saw me. And when I ran into acquaintances at school events and the grocery store, I didn’t say “hey, I have a terrible migraine, I can barely hold my eyes open right now.” It would have been so easy for others to judge my appearance.
Judging. Snap judgments are a common part of our culture now. I’m certainly not immune to it.
A few weeks ago, Matt was driving me to an appointment in Dallas. Traffic was intense to say the least, definitely bumper to bumper. We were a bit annoyed when someone was trying to pass us on the shoulder of the road. We were like “whoa – all these other people have places to go too.”
And then, a few minutes later, we passed a terrible accident (a vehicle was on fire!) and I saw a woman with two very small children, that she was trying to keep shepherded away from the intense traffic. And then I saw it – the man that had “poor road etiquette” was parking and running to the woman and kids. Considering his actions before with the new perspective of him rushing to help his wife and children in a sticky situation, what he did seems completely reasonable. We were instantly humbled by our annoyance after we had all the facts.
“Be kind for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle” – even the people that annoy you and inconvenience you.
My mom had a different twist to this common quote – she told me to “Treat everyone you meet like they may be going through something really tough, and you’ll always be right.”
On a side note – I’ll just say that a 7 day migraine isn’t normal, because I do have some strong meds that normally help. I just wasn’t allowed to take those meds this last week because I’m participating in a clinical trial and they were clearing my system of other meds. (I can’t say what clinical trial I’m in, but I can say it is for depression.) Insomnia, on the other hand, is just a normal part of my life and always grows worse during times of stress. May = stress.
Let’s be extra kind to each other. Life is better surrounded with caring and loving people – be that person.
From my home to yours,
Mary
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Beautiful words Mary. I always enjoy reading your blog. Do you have your migraines under control regularly? I ask because if you need some advice I could give you some.My husband struggled with migraines for 8 years and it was very depressing until we discovered how to manage them and the triggers and he is hardly on any medicine now. Let me know and I will share what we have learned . We tried everything. I hope your migraine goes away soon. 🙂
Thanks, Jill! Normally I have it under control, but I just can’t take anything for a small length of time … not even Benedryl!
Hi Mary. I am so sorry you suffer from migraines. Those are horrible. I am not sure if any of this information is helpful but just in case it is I will write it all out anyway. My husband had migraines so much sometimes they lasted almost every day. We figured out the following that has practically got rid of them. Maybe something will help you? First of all he drinks way to much caffeine. He cut down on it somewhat . Also he did a food diary to see if any foods triggered them. We discovered it was belached wheat flour. We learned that there was usually always more than one factor that would cause the migraines. Stress, not good sleep patterns, and eating the trigger foods, weather changes, and working too much that would set them off. He would be relatively fine until he ate a trigger food that seemed to set everything off and the migraine would start. Also we learned that you should NOT take advil (ibuprofen) or tylenol when you are getting one because they cause rebound headhaches. So you can get headache/migraines for days because he was trying to get rid of them taking the wrong meds! Just take 2 Aleve and drink tons of water. I mean like a liter of water. Also he started to realize when they would start coming on and if he rested and drank tons of water sometimes they would go away. I hope this helps somewhat. Excedrinmigraine never really helped him. I hope this helps! Have a beautiful summer.
These are great tips! That is really interesting about the Ibuprofen. I’m glad that your husband has figured it out. Migraines are just so so awful to endure.