Disclosure: Any post may contain links to my shop or affiliate links, which means I may receive a commission from any purchase you make. All opinions about products I use are my own. Read the full disclosure and Privacy Policy HERE.
When I started this blog 11.5 years ago, I shared a lot about my little kids at that time. My youngest wasn’t even born yet and my life was absorbed in being a mother of young children. As my kids have grown, I’ve seen the need for their privacy, so I stopped sharing 99% of what was going on with them. And in that time, there’s been some awkward middle school years, really tough struggles, and so many good things. I’m glad I gave them a break from the public eye – I have no regrets about that.
I have 4 kids, but my oldest are twins. The first time my blog went viral over a decade ago was because of an article I wrote for Whattoexpect.com about having identical twins. This photo below is what I used in that article. (The article no longer exists on their website.)
These girls are now 18 years old and in their senior year of high school! The picture below is the morning of their 18th birthday a few weeks ago. They no longer wear matching clothes these days but they happened to come out wearing the same color uniform on their birthday and I begged them to let me take a picture of them in matching outfits. It was a fun throwback to the first 5 years when I matched all their clothes!
Behind the scenes over here, they have been blossoming. That word “blossoming” sounds cliche in this context, but it is the best word I know to use. I don’t know how else to put it. They have grown into the most amazing young adults who are so beautiful, so smart, and so capable. It is just the strangest thing to have adult children! It’s like, I recently had babies who needed me for everything and it feels like just days later, they’re driving themselves around and filling out college applications. They are both taller than me!
Right now, they are only 5 years younger than I was in this picture below (they were due on my birthday, so it really is almost exactly 5 years). Here I was 37.5 weeks pregnant with my twin babies. They were born the next day. Wow. What an 18 years it has been.
I’m excited for this next adventure of having adult children. I know the dynamic between us will change as I need to pull back and let them do their thing. But I’m ready for this next phase of motherhood because I know they are ready to launch. I know every mom probably thinks their kids are the best, but as I tell them all the time “if I could trade and have any kids in the world, I’d choose them again.”
Please, give me all the best tips you have for navigating this young adult stage with your children!
From my home to yours,
Mary
The best advice I could give you is allow them to find themselves. But always keep in touch with them and let them know how loved they are. Let them come home when they need to and if you haven’t heard from them in a few days just text send them a text saying hey how are you or do you need anything. That way they know that you care but you’re giving them space. I tried to have a meal out with my kids whenever they’re in town. Or the ones that live here in town I try to make it at least once a month that we get together and have a meal and find out what’s going on with each other. That way you keep up on what they’re doing but you’re allowing them to be adults and live and make their own mistakes and their own wins but then they know that you’re there if they need if they are needed. When my son was a single I tried to do little things for him. He worked nights so on May 4th he’s a big Star wars fan I would leave little things in his on his kitchen table for him to come home too for that day. I make cookies or bread to send back with the kids that live far away when they come to visit and try to give them a home cooked meal. It’s lonely sometimes being an empty nester but it’s rewarding too knowing that you raised wonderful children.
This is excellent advice. You you SO MUCH!
I have such admiration for the open, capable, refreshing, and inspired woman that you are! How blessed your family is to have YOU! I was where you are (a boy & 3 girls) 20+ years ago. Our daughters are my best friends and like you are very hard working, capable, loving mothers & wives! We are a close family (our cups runneth over!). Our secret has been respect, being there for eachother, our shared Faith in the Lord Jesus Christ and love! We appreciate living in the same valley (our son’s family included) and cherish times together with them and their families. Bless you & your family Mary!!
Thank you so much Ruth!